Brian McLane

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DOMINATRIX OVER LAW SCHOOL – BEATS THE DAY JOB

March 7th, 2011 · 1 Comment · Technology

Want to go to law school. Better think again. Almost every other Juris Doctorate (Lawyer) doesn’t practice law.

Get ready for that number to go up.

The average hourly wage for a lawyer is $65. The average hourly wage for a dominatrix is $80. Don’t ask me how I know.

I used to work at a law firm. Brown Raysman, one of the best jobs I ever had and one of the nicest places to work. 6 years after the firm merged attorneys and staff still get together to hoist a few, especially around holiday time. I remarked in a recent post though that many of those people were looking for work or had left the law firm world altogether.

And it’s no wonder. Thanks to advances in artificial intelligence, such as “e-discovery” software which can analyze a zillion documents in a fraction of the time for a fraction of the cost as a horde of attorneys and paralegals. When I had nothing to do I would be asked to sit there with a bates stamp and just stamp documents in a complex litigation.

The billable hours on that would be, well a lot. Now 1.5 million documents can be analyzed for less than $100,000. So do the math on say 10 or 20 thousand documents. Nothing.

According to a recent article in the New York Times, “some programs go beyond just finding documents with relevant terms at computer speeds. They can extract relevant concepts.” Huh? That’s right. Even in the absence of specific terms, this software can detect patterns of behavior that humans would most likely miss. Add to that the fact that a lot of the word processing and office services are now outsourced (which is something I don’t get). Can you imagine finding problems with your table of contents or the footnotes are incorrect or ill-formatted and having to get on the phone to India.

THAT would drive me nuts and many attorneys have anger management issues as it is.

And so, document review is no longer a cash cow for law firms. And as such, that many more attorneys are looking for work. It’s also a matter of efficiency because people need to have a cigarette, go to the bathroom, get lunch, computers don’t.

And so I expect that next year’s reunion will be full of that many more people who are looking to land at another firm, or change jobs altogether. I was there in a nice suit and had clearly come a long way since slinging a bates stamp.

“Wow you look great! What firm are you working at now?”

“I don’t work for anyone anymore, I’m an agent at New York Life, I work for a great company, but really for myself.” You see the Insurance business is a relationship business too. So I’m not likely to be marginalized by software or as has been proven even the internet. NY Life had its biggest year EVER last year.

No software package is going to be able to visit someone at their bedside, take someone to dinner, come over to your house and do a review, and so on. So I guess it all worked out when I left the legal world back in 2004.

I’ve never looked back.

And the Dominatrix Sleeps Well Tonight. From 1984 here’s “Dominatrix” with their signature song.

Dominatrix over Law School.  Beats The Day Job

Dominatrix over Law School. Beats The Day Job

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