Brian McLane

Media and Social Commentary

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MY MEDICINE CABINET. FELIX UNGER ARE WE?

January 14th, 2012 · No Comments · Social Commentary

My Medicine Cabinet is growing arms and legs.

I was doing my Saturday cleaning. It was, I’m somewhat embarrassed to say the first big cleaning I’ve done in almost a month. Did a medium cleaning for New Years but not the who wash the floors, disinfecting deal in almost a month.

Partly because I came down with this NASTY, nasty virus called Coxsackie which is generally a children’s virus. One can only get it from saliva or fecal matter and with a two year old it’s not hard to imagine. And your Purell Hand Sanitizer wont help you – the only thing that works for sure is…. CLOROX. I had the worst fever in years, the mother of all sore throats for 4 days, sweat and the whole nine yards. So we were all sick except for Nodari who almost never gets sick. In fact he’s one of the healthiest kids I’ve ever seen.

So today now that I’m over a week recovered it was time to get back to it. The house needed it. So did the Medicine Cabinet.

So I always start with the bathtub, then the sink and toilet (sorry if TMI), then the sink and the floors. The reason is that I like my house smelling clean and looking good when guests arrive. Thank God for Clorox. Nothing is more embarrassing then when you got to someone’s house and it stinks or even in their care and there’s garbage all over the place.

I’m not a Felix Unger.

But this time, and I usually do it once every six months, the Medicine Cabinet needed to be cleaned and put in order. I took everything out and put in a mini-tub and washed everything down and threw out all the lotions and out of date medications, stuff I never used and so on.

Then I cloroxed the the shelves and the cabinet walls and gradually put stuff back in one by one. A lot of the smaller looser stuff that you spend 10 bucks, not once but twice, gets lost. Finally I had everything in place and organized and I thought to myself. Maybe I am Felix Unger? Or is it just that this is what happens to men when they reach 48?

Just what do I have in here and why do I need all these things?

Of course we all have underarm deodorant (I use Gillette Speedstick Solid), Clubman Talc or Aqua Velva aftershave, peach facial scrub, gold bond anti-itch lotion, Polo by Ralph Lauren, all kinds of creams and ointmennts.

Medications?
I take Lovaza for my tri-glycerides;
I take Prevacid for Acid Refulx;
I take a Valium once in a while when I can’t relax or come down from working late;
Naproxin for inflammation whenever my sacroiliac acts up;
Zolpidem when I just absolutely cannot sleep or when my daughter wakes us up in the middle of the night, and it takes me more than 20 or 30 minutes to get back to sleep;
Scalpacin for the rare itchy scalp;
Sinus Cleanse for when I get a zit in my nose or a cold; and
Hydro-Lotion for my Rosacea.

Then there’s Barbasol shaving cream, hypoallergenic soap, hair gel, Off spray for the mosquitoes that don’t seem to die even in January;
Listerine, Anbesol, Mucinex, One A Day, Chloraseptic, Rolaids, Primatine Mist, Advil…

I think about all the considerations and secondly the money. Then there’s the space. But still do I need all this stuff. Imagine if I could exist without 75 percent of this junk?
I was looking for some help on YouTube but only found a video in support of the contrary with an “expert” Debbye Turner Bell who spoke to WCBS-TVs Dr. Holly Phillips (probably from a Satellite Media Tour New York) about must-haves for your medicine cabinet including first aid, and allergy, cold, and flu remedies.

my medicine cabinet felix unger

click for my medicine cabinet felix unger

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