That’s right. The NUMBER ONE HARDEST JOB IS HOUSEWIFE.
I’m admitting it, Stay at Home Moms… you win. The next time I come home from a 14 hour day, I will make sure to slink in rather than barge. The woman who stays at home with the kids – I wouldn’t want that job – I think I’d rather be President.
We did a Satellite Media Tour with Samantha Bee from the Daily Show (she’d just written a book called the 5 second rule), and after the Satellite Media Tour we did (and executed at a very high level if I do say so myself), an interactive webcast with 25 or so of the top Mommy Bloggers.
How does she do it. She’s not a Stay At Home Mom…. She’s not a Housewife – yet I remember the tour and little did I know a lot of the things she was saying (which I thought were to get a laugh?), were actually prophetic!
Guess what… I’m not laughing now.
Well first – before I became Mr. Housewife – here’s a reminder of what I used to do in the Broadcast PR, Media Relations world. This is me with Hilary Swank on Iams’ Home for the Holidays Campaign benefiting the Bid-A-Wee shelter in Manhattan.
With an 11 year old and a 10 month old – there is nothing harder. Between preparing the food (my wife Shorena makes her own and it’s organic…. of course), cleaning the bottles, changing and bathing, keeping my daughter out of trouble (right now she’s got a pen, an empty cd case and has just tugged the iTouch from it’s perch onto the floor). Because she’s crawling and starting to walk, I’m constantly coaxing her to not do stuff or go to sleep and the crying, the crying…… I try to feed her but I turn around and somehow she got a hold of my wallet? Everything is all over the place, I can’t take my eyes off her. When she’s good and when she’s bad.
But I finally was able to get her to go to sleep. Flab comes in handy after all.
And that’s just the little one. What does the Housewife do with the bigger one that adds to her having the hardest job.
Well, when he’s not jumping around on the couches, my 11 year old wants to play Soccer and Stickball, watch Spongebob – all the time. Nothing wrong with that. Except he can SOMETIMES be a weasel when it comes to getting his reading and/or math work in. He’s also in Georgian Dance, playing, dancing, scooting around – asking a ZILLION questions so I’m like an encyclopedia…. Housewife with all the answers please help! And when I’m not continually coaxing HIM to do his work and always turn around to find him doing anything else but his work – like now – he’s messing up my hair instead of doing his reading, or wants to have a pillow fight.
The rest of the time he’s loafing and doing whatever he can do to avoid reading his book on a hot summer day. Then do what I became an expert at – CRAMMING. That short term knowledge though can only be achieved if you can read which I keep trying to explain to him. But give him credit – he’s persistent and good… at loafing!
Here he is doing some of his better work!
Wait until Part Time Stay at Home Mom and Housewife gets home and her hands on him. He knows when Mom gets home that she’ll put the fear of God in him but Oh… .there’s the neighbor’s loud rap bass booming through the floor.
How does Mom do it? You know, even though she gets to stay at home and all and be a Housewife. The Housewife does all this right? Regardless I now agree the housewife has the hardest job. I admit it. I can’t wait to get out of here and stop being the Housewife myself.
Even if she diiiiddddd do it….. until she took a part-time job in the city. Since GCMP folded, I’ve been setting up SplashVideo.tv, and have been working from home with the coders (setting up over 160 viral video and social media sites). Big mistake. I shouldn’t have let on that I didn’t need to be in the city full-time anymore.
Oh how I wish for the days when I couldn’t get Michelle Branch and EVERYWHERE out of my head and had CHASE on the brain. But I’ve been drafted now 3 days a week and the only time I can do a blog, network or do sales outreach is when (like now) the baby is sleeping. Otherwise – she’s usually in my arms or I’m chasing her around and putting stuff out of her reach.
There’s the siren. Sofia McLane is officially awake. Whoops – it’s been almost 4 hours which means I have to start preparing her food. And then walk her around outside (which I love), but – it’s non-stop. Here they are together!! My 11 year old Nodari and his younger sister Sofia (“Sopo”).
So – I throw in the towel. I’m not admitting defeat, I clean the poopies, and whip up the organic mash, the strolling, and do the rocking to sleep – but being a Stay At Home Dad is tougher it seems than being a Stay at Home Mom. It’s a known fact that women have a higher threshold for pain. Is this what the Mommy Bloggers know? Is this what the Mommy Bloggers are blogging about?
When I came home at night I used to ask my wife, make that my HOUSEWIFE, what was so tough about her day, like I could do a Housewife’s job standing on my head.
Here’s the evidence. My house was clean when the day started. I folded the laundry…, cleaned the bathroom….Ironically my shirt says “LUCKY.” That’s IT! I’m getting a job.
Wait SOPO!!!! What are you doing – you’re throwing my papers all over the place!!!!!
Until Brian McLane became a housewife – the hardest job ever, he was dedicated to launching SplashVideo.tv.
Now it’s all I can do to get Sofia to eat. Remember here comes the airplane?
Open wide? Now I get it!!!
Men – this is serious. We have to do something. How did we get away with it for thousands of years? My house was clean when the day started! Look at it now!
Makes me pine away for the days when I would sit up all night and repeat myself over and over to Indian Web Developers. Where Have All The Good Times Gone?
HERE’S VAN HALEN’S VERSION FROM 1982.
Currently in Beta, SplashVideo.tv syndicates to 150 Viral Video and Social Media Sites as well as mobile content to 70 countries. A little about myself, I head the digital media and emerging technologies division of GCMP.tv. In addition to being a leading New York media strategist, Brian specializes in social commerce, webcasting, building your own network (BYON), ghostwriting and blogging. iProgram specializes in Live To Phone Technologies, mobile video and marketing strategies from its base in New York City. I am also an expert on webcasting and am frequently called upon to execute webcasts from in studio and remote locations. I am a leading New York Based Streaming Media Encoding Technician.