Brian McLane

Media and Social Commentary

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I CAN’T HELP WHERE MY EYES GO

September 11th, 2011 · No Comments · humor

It’s true. And I’m not just talking about walking down the street, but on Facebook too.

There are so many gorgeous and sexy women and I must personally know over 100. Add the internet and it more than doubles. Just saw on a friend’s wall that she lamented being 27, and that someone had suggested that she might be a Cougar.

27? Cougar?

It’s funny because my wife always asks questions about the people who are at events that I get invited to (MTV, Fashion Shows, Concerts, Art Openings, Theater), in subtle ways. She wants to know what the event is about, how I found out about it, who is this person…. etc…

First, let me state now for the record I HAVE NOT CHEATED, AM NOT INTERESTED IN CHEATING, nor WILL I CHEAT ON MY WIFE IN THE FUTURE.

But, it’s flattering actually because I’m now 47, I no longer have a six pack but love handles, the lines on my face are those of experience and character, but they are there. It’s been a year since I’ve been on the Stage (not counting walk-ons), I’ve actually lost an inch in height from 5’8 to 5’7 which is one of the most traumatic things I experienced this year. No one, believe me, wants me.

Add to that I have a beautiful wife, seventeen years younger than me, great sense of humor, great mother, terrific cook, responsible, down to earth, a real doer and not a procrastinator; she’s resourceful, driven, upwardly mobile, it goes on and on.

So even though it’s a natural male response to look whether at a pretty face, hot body, whatever your particular triggers are in women, I also know that I’ve already got the best that life can deliver to me. I’ve said it many times before, I LUCKED OUT the second time around. I show my wife and kids to everyone I meet (so did George Costanza of a model whom he said was his wife and died), and display my wedding ring proudly.

The next time I (or you), compliment a beautiful woman or young lady on FB, in the street or at a bar, please know that it’s okay because you know that you can pull up this post, and say – yeah…. me too.

So honey remember, don’t believe that men grow better looking with age, not all of us do…. I’m still the same guy you bust in the kitchen at midnight with a bowl of ice cream, still the same guy who makes you roll your eyes in a variety of ways.

No one wants me don’t worry. But just in case you need a reminder – here you go.

Brian as George Costanza

Brian as George Costanza

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